Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
