What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
