I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
