You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
