He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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