i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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