Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize