Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
