Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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