i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
