There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
