those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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