your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
