Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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