she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
