why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
