No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize