i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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