Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
