So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
