i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
