My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's JV to your varsity
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
