Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
