I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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