Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
