Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We got so high we made milksteak
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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