I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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