I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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