great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
