I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
