Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
