Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize