Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize