I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize