We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
