Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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