"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
