You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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