Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
