So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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