wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
