Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
