Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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