chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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