All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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