I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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