quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
