I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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