but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
