Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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