Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
