yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
