....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
