hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
NoShamevember. You game?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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