I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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