I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
