Got a toothbrush?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
