You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
where are my pants?
in the oven.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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