STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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